Why Chasten Buttigieg wrote a new children’s book about two dads that isn’t about being different

When Chasten Buttigieg spoke with The Advocate from his home in Traverse City in early May, he had just seen a hummingbird for the first time this season. It was the kind of moment he’s learned to savor — one of nature, stillness, and the quiet that now surrounds the family he’s raising with his husband, former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, and their nearly four-year-old twins, Gus and Penelope.

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The former middle school teacher, theater director, and now author of three books, has settled into something resembling peace in northern Michigan. But his latest project — Papa’s Coming Home, a tender, funny, beautifully illustrated picture book — is anything but apolitical.

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When he first received early illustrations for Papa’s Coming Home, his daughter didn’t need a formal introduction. “Penelope came up right next to me,” he recalled, “and she was like, ‘That’s me, and that’s Gus, and that’s Papa, and that’s [our dog] Buddy… that’s Daddy.’”

It was, in essence, the moment the book fulfilled its quiet mission: to let children like Gus and Penelope see themselves in a story where their family isn’t a lesson or an issue, but a given. On its surface, Papa’s Coming Home, which comes out on May 20, tells the story of two kids and their dog, Butter, scrambling to gather all the things their papa might’ve missed while away, as they prepare to pick him up at the airport.

The story is infused with a parent’s anticipation, a child’s earnest logic, and the chaos of family life. But in the fraught landscape of American politics in 2025, a simple, joyful book about two dads is never just that. Across the country, conservatives have tried to ban books by LGBTQ+ people or about LGBTQ+ lives from schools and public libraries.

“There’s nothing objectionable in this story,” Buttigieg told The Advocate. “It’s two parents who love their kids very much, which I think every kid is deserving of. If someone has a problem with that, that’s for them to explain.”

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The book’s most important line — “The best part about coming home is you” — isn’t just a warm closing. It’s the manifesto of a parenting philosophy. “It’s about unconditional love over material things,” he said. “In the whirlwind of figuring out parenting, it’s just so important to be grounded in that.”

Buttigieg said the book came out of frustration.

“I was asking around to publishers and LGBTQ bookstores after our kids were born, looking for stories like ours,” he said. “A lot of books featuring same-sex couples have a moral up front. I didn’t want to read my kids a story where our kind of family meant we always had to talk about being different.”

So he wrote the kind of book he couldn’t find. “I just wanted it to be a lighthearted, day-in-the-life, cute, funny, engaging story that they would laugh at and we would enjoy.”

And it’s one they recognize.

“They love the stinky cheese part,” Chasten said, talking about Pete’s fondness for blue cheese, which the kids theatrically protest. “P-U! Yuck, that’s gross!”

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Gus and Penelope were not passive inspirations. They became creative collaborators.

“I would bounce things off them,” he said. “‘What do you think Papa would have missed?’ And some of those answers ended up in the book.”

The Buttigieg children are still figuring out that their father’s book isn’t just theirs.

“They’ve known it as their story for so long,” he said. “Even though it’s Rosie and JoJo in the book, they still say, ‘That’s us.’”

The family’s real-life rhythm is also woven throughout.

“We have a saying here: It’s brave to try new foods,” Chasten said. “And if you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it.” He said that philosophy—gentle, curious, and affirmative—extends to how he and Pete parent. "Our kids love cheese, but sometimes, I’ll say, ‘I don’t like that cheese, that’s a stinky cheese. That’s Papa’s cheese,' and they’ll try it. But I think because I call it stinky cheese, they’re always like, ‘P-U!”

But they do like cheeses, Chasten said, and will even try “stinky” ones. The kids are adventurous eaters. Pickles and olives? Yes. Jell-O? No. "They like salty things, but then they won’t like Jell-O or, you know, sweeter things."

Chasten describes their approach as “yes and” parenting: improvisational, creative, with structure but not restriction. “It’s one of the things we really value,” he said.

That creativity manifests in unexpected ways. Gus, he shared, is picking up music from Pete. One of his favorite parenting memories lately is a video of Gus writing and performing a song about owls and tigers. “They have sharp teeth and they eat people,” Gus sings as he plays the guitar with his piano nearby.

"I love that so much," Chasten said.

Much of this gentle domesticity plays out against the backdrop of northern Michigan, where the family resettled after years in D.C. “It’s been night and day,” Buttigieg said. Gone are the rats and bones of urban alleyways near Eastern Market. In their place: turkeys parading through the yard, finches at the bird feeder, toddlers identifying chickadees at breakfast.

Related: Fox News anchor appears to use antigay slur in rant about Pete Buttigieg

“It’s just been so good for us,” he said. “The quiet has been everything.”

Still, the world doesn’t leave them alone. Recently, Fox News host Rachel Campos-Duffy, wife of Pete’s Trump-appointed successor, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, appeared to utter an anti-gay slur on-air while attacking Pete. She corrected herself mid-segment—but not before “winger fagger” went viral.

“She knows exactly what she’s doing,” Chasten said. “She got to say the word she really wants to use, and now she’s getting a bunch of attention for it. It’s rage bait. It’s not real.”

This tension — between real family and manufactured outrage — is at the heart of Chasten’s mission. “People just want politics to reflect a better life,” he said. “The whole point of going to Washington is to make people’s lives better.”

He worries that public cynicism is being weaponized.

“If you resign yourself to believe that America at its greatest is gone, that opportunity for equality and acceptance is gone, that’s how they win,” he said. “You start to think it’s over.”

He’s especially adamant about standing with transgender people and against the anti-trans rhetoric dominating the Trump administration and right-wing media.

“When you see trans people being bullied and picked on and scapegoated, that’s not just a battle for trans people to fight. That’s a battle for you to fight, too,” he said. “Even if you think it doesn’t affect you, it does because you have power. Power to change hearts and minds in your community, in your family.”

Chasten doesn’t pretend that this work is easy. “Some of the hardest conversations I have aren’t on stage,” he said. “They happen around this table, with relatives, coworkers, and people you love.”

As the family considers what the future will bring — many are rumoring and hoping for another presidential run for the Buttigieges — Chasten says he’s focused on preserving his children’s privacy and childhood.

“They’re turning four this year, and as much as I can, I’m just going to let them be kids,” he said. He doesn’t post photos of their faces and worries about deepfakes already circulating. “They can’t consent to that,” he said. “So as much privacy as I can give them, I will.”

He’s deliberate, cautious. But he’s also proud.

“If you wanted to get to know my family,” Chasten said, “I feel like the book does a good job of that.”